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Shades on even when it's dark

I remember the times when I woke up
with tears in my eyes*
and I thought
 
how I am going to cross that bridge
the fear takes over me
I shout
 
Again, from day to another
I am being pressured
only a hollow gaze
 
and every day when you are searching for somewhere to hide
you will learn to tidy up your feelings
from that same face the pain cannot be seen anymore
 
that's why I have shades on even when it's dark
 
my shades are a way of protection
a curtain in front of my gaze
I hide
 
that's why I have shades on even when it's dark
 
the darker the lenses are
the deeper
is the scar
 
even a toughened armour wouldn't help
if somebody would like to
[rip] me open
 
I educate [others] but I can take the cold
even if it is known
it leaves a mark
 
and every time I face a challenge
a human like you
in a shield that's gray as ice
I go because I think you will rip the hear apart
 
that's why I have shades on even when it's dark
 
my shades are a way of protection
a curtain in front of my gaze
I hide
 
that's why I have shades on even when it's dark
 
for you I am a cockeyed geek, a pussy, a fatty
for others I am a wimp, a cold asshole, a star
 
I am the alcohol you use even you hate it
I am not for you but a landfill for the lazy one
 
I have been wasted more than anyone else
now with shades on and I promise pills
 
I have taken your pills to spread the pain**
will bring them to your coffin with you
 
my shades are a way of protection
a curtain in front of my gaze
I hide
 
my shades are a way of protection
a curtain in front of my gaze
I hide
 
that's why I have shades on even when it's dark
 


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01.02.2025

REBORN





Tears dissolve under the rain, wandering on the path of rebirth beyond the pain.
 

Can you hear cry your heart?
Let me hear cry your soul!
No pain! no gain! Don't fear.
 

Unable to look ahead, stopped and blocked by fake days, a facade of 'once more dice.'
 

Can you hear cry your heart?
Let me hear cry your soul!
No pain! no gain! Don't fear.
 

The reality soaked in the rotten rain is still a false breakdown.
This pain will eventually turn into a white future.
With a soul that needs no adornment, dye my heart and find me.
Livin' on the chaos.
 

Can you hear cry your heart?
Let me hear cry your soul!
No pain! no gain! Don't fear.
 

If you're afraid of the past and not seeking ahead, it won’t begin – a cloudy smile.
With this sorrow in my chest, toward the sky where light shines.
With a soul that knows no fear, open your eyes and find me.
 

Livin' on the chaos.
 

The rain wets my eyelids, showing the path ahead of pain as I walk the path of rebirth.
 


01.02.2025

Mayfly





I think you were sometimes an egoist.
The smell of cigarettes and those words still linger in the classroom.
 

I can't throw away this dark past.
I can't throw away this terrifying present.
 

Why did you disappear?
That psychopathic smile of yours...
Why must the life of a mayfly be short?
Why did you disappear?
That psychopathic smile of yours...
 

You're always there in my memories and in my heart, I won't forget.
Even if my heart hurts,
Even if I feel the lessons,
I’m happy for the things you left behind.
 

Why did you disappear?
Why did you disappear?
 

The smell of cigarettes and those words still linger in the classroom.
Sleep peacefully, I’ll leave it to you.
I’ll carry your thoughts with me.
 


01.02.2025

fu uh





Still, I haven't given up. Is it the same for you?
 

I think the world is small.
 

No matter how dark the place is, I can hear the music. In the attic with my eyes closed, I feel you.
 

Hoo~
 

Can you sleep tonight? I want to see you.
 

A necklace shining around your neck.
 

The things you gave me.
 

Suddenly, I think like this: I like the air outside, swaying. Even though there's a different, opposite side of me, I feel hope.
 

Hoo~
 

I'll stay in my heart.
 


01.02.2025

-045-





In front of the phone, I was searching for words
I just wanted to say one word, 'Congratulations'
The love that disappeared last year
Your birthday
 

Gently, 045
Just the area code
I dialed and placed the receiver
But no, tears started to overflow right away
 

A quiet dream, you told me about it
The café on the hill overlooking Marine Tower
The seasons slowly
Melt away like water
 

Gently, 045
I entwined my fingers and walked
The mirage-like hill
The foreign ships swaying in the blurred sea
 

Gently, 045
Someday, to you
I want to smile
And say thank you from the bottom of my heart