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KOTONOHA

He laughs at others ideals but lack morals himself
A cynical boy
She hides her said ideals, weeping all alone
A girl with dreams
 
Which am I?
Neither
Which am I?
Either
 
Always asking me which one am I, what a stupid world
Im held to a gunpoint
 
He who devoted his body and mind
All just for some fun, A loyal boy
She who’s pointing and laughing
Unaware of death, a deranged girl
 
That femenine part of me
That masculine part of me
No idea how this occurred to me
Heart beating so fast, i feel i can’t breathe
 
What the hell is it that just happened
It doesn't matter now, I'm here to sing!
 
All these words, All these words
Just making them be heard
Conveying, Conveying
Even to a random stranger
 
Enough waiting, Enough waiting
For these unrealistic dreams
All alone, All alone
Ripping them all to shreds
 
“There’s no meaning, no reason to live
This world has no enemies”
He hides his ideals, weeping all alone
A boy with dreams
 
Which am I? Who am I?
Should it matter?
No matter, who or which
But this “stupid world” is what im
Pointing my gun at
 
A girl who’d never succumb to
The temptations of the masses
She who threw her body and mind
All just for some fun, A loyal girl
 
Which am I? Who am I?
Should it matter?
No matter, who or which
But “this is a stupid world”
Is what i’m sticking with
 
Those two things is what makes today
Those two things is what made today
Even if i’m being crammed in between the two
My answer still remains
 
That person is the femenine me
That person is the masculine me
Ah, what the hell is it that happened
These feelings so strong, i feel i can’t breathe
 
I can’t just keep standing or staying like this
Every single one of my cells are trembling
 
Letting loose, Dancing to
Get on the rhythm
With loud sound, with loud sound
I’ll sing right through
 
No not yet, not yet
At the end, are we there
My voice, my voice
Will go on as i wither away
 
All these words, All these words
Just making them be heard
Conveying, Conveying
Even to a random stranger
 
Enough waiting, Enough waiting
For these unrealistic dreams
All alone, All alone
Ripping them all to shreds
 


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02.03.2025

One Night





That night I was writing sitting very still,
So not to my mother in the next room
By a squeaking chair spoil a dream.
 

And when I needed a certain book,
I stepped over the carpet carefully,
My main concern with every move
Being not to wake up the dear old lady.
 

And the night was flowing, peaceful and silent,
And then I remembered that she was longer present.
 


02.03.2025

Unfulfilled Feelings





I fell in love, knowing my feelings would go unfulfilled
Afterwards, the tears started flowing and won't stop
 

On Sunday at the cafe terrace
I suggested we go check out the sea
Pretending not to know that you had a girlfriend
I said something self-indulgent
You smiled, remarking that it's just like me
To always be so spur of the moment
After casually glancing at your wristwatch
You stepped out of the cafe ahead of me
 

Afternoon, on the sidewalk
Where our two shadows swayed
Saying it wouldn't be strange to be mistaken for lovers
I purposely entwined my arm in yours
 

Even though there are others who look a lot like you
Why is it that my heart is drawn to you...to you?
 

You said the sea breeze was still chilly
As you offered me
Some hot cocoa and a blue muffler
I nearly began to cry
 

Oh how I wanted to dream
While leaning in your arms
Am I not good enough for you・・・?
The moment I asked, waves carried my voice away
 

I fell in love, knowing my feelings would go unfulfilled
Afterwards, the tears started flowing and won't stop
 

It's likely there won't be any change
Between the two of us
You gently patted my head, and said
You considered me a cherished younger sister
 

I fell in love, knowing my feelings would go unfulfilled
I'm fine being a younger sister, just please...please stay near me
 


02.03.2025

White Valentine





If I listen carefully, I can make out the faint sound of snow
On sleepless night, the window pane fogs up with breath
Tomorrow's chance will provide encouragement
To my usually shy self, on a pure white Valentine's Day
 

 I'm going to give a hand-knit sweater along with a poem
 Will he even turn around? I'm serious when I say I'm in love
 

  White Valentine
  I want to make a world just for the two of us
  Dream Valentine
  Again chasing after a dream
 

Looking at your smile in the photo frame, I wonder if I have a rival
Outside the world's silver, virtually like a fairyland
If I fall asleep in love, chocolates adorned in ribbons
Appear and disappear, on a pure white Valentine's Day
 

 Because I couldn't say it, I'll give it with a poem enclosed
 Will he even notice? I'm serious when I say I'm in love
 

  White Valentine
  Conversing about love, well...it's a little early for that
  Dream Valentine
  In order for a dream to come true
 

 Though a bit embarrassing, I'll give it with a poem enclosed
 Will he even accept it? I'm serious when I say I'm in love
 

  White Valentine
  The path for just the two of us, continues on and on
  Dream Valentine
  The dream has only just begun
 


02.03.2025

Night Spin





A voice like it's asking, like it's waiting for tomorrow
shakes and fades away again inside me.
For I only experience in an infinite present
a sequence of painful nights where it hurts somewhere.
 

Ah Now that I've made my way to transparent emotions,
today blossoms in the sky.
In that case
though I'll surely learn about loneliness,
be there wrapping everything up.
 

As if it's gone, as if it's faded,
your warmth flickers far away, riding on the wind.
As if ever singing, as if touching me over here,
it reaches fullness, breathing even if it lacks meaning.
 

You can't notice anything. So then does everything
go on changing like the phases of the moon?
Bye-bye to days of getting hurt
until I can smile.
If I cry, may I stay here
Noteuntil the end when it gets a little dark?1
The reply is always …
 

Thus whenever I walk,
the sorrows that come are something to go through,
wishing to be smiling with you, alone and shaken.
 

It's just that …
 

Now that I've made my way to transparent emotions,
today blossoms in the sky.
 

In that case
 

if I'm to surely learn about warmth,
wrap up everything for me.
 
  • 1. (or) When I cry it gets a little darker, so may I stay here until the end?