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You Are So Ugly

Together I've lived way too long
with the same woman in the same burrow,
paying off my laps of life to her.
Always the same struggles for supremacy,
always the same duties at night.
I'm getting feeble and my brain is running out.
 
Our love got lost like a handkerchief,
and when she talks to me I'm standing outside of myself.
Only sometimes when I dream, I am reborn,
I play the strong man, and then I tell her:
 
You are so ugly that it's hard to bear,
your gait and smile do bother me,
so does the way you look at me.
You are so ugly that it's hard to bear,
your decency annoys me, and since long
it upsets me that you attract me,
that you still attract me.
 
It's true, I am a subordinate,
the world feels like glue,
and life is running past me full of lust.
The same duties day by day,
a shot glass of freedom, as agreed,
instead of being a hero I'm a wimp.
 
Then friends arrive, besieging my time.
The same old sayings, and I'm playing with my toes,
instead of leaping up and furiously standing wide
in front of them, so they can clearly hear each word:
 
You are so ugly that it's hard to bear,
and your childish songs of happiness and friendship kill me.
You are so ugly that it's hard to bear,
and your ridiculous urge to laugh with me, is so stupid,
so terribly stupid.
 
Together I've lived way too long
with the same woman in the same burrow,
paying off my laps of life to her.
The same cowardice each day,
concealing what you want to say.
I'm even running out of my heroic dreams.
 
And somewhen she will ask me, that's for sure,
why I kept running from myself all the time.
I will be speechless and, as always, will be silent,
and then she'll tell me, standing up in front of me in victory:
 
You are so ugly that it's hard to bear,
your gait and smile do bother me,
so does the way you look at me.
You are so ugly that it's hard to bear,
but since a long time it satisfies me,
that finally you don't attract me any longer,
that finally you don't attract me any longer.
 


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01.02.2025

REBORN





Tears dissolve under the rain, wandering on the path of rebirth beyond the pain.
 

Can you hear cry your heart?
Let me hear cry your soul!
No pain! no gain! Don't fear.
 

Unable to look ahead, stopped and blocked by fake days, a facade of 'once more dice.'
 

Can you hear cry your heart?
Let me hear cry your soul!
No pain! no gain! Don't fear.
 

The reality soaked in the rotten rain is still a false breakdown.
This pain will eventually turn into a white future.
With a soul that needs no adornment, dye my heart and find me.
Livin' on the chaos.
 

Can you hear cry your heart?
Let me hear cry your soul!
No pain! no gain! Don't fear.
 

If you're afraid of the past and not seeking ahead, it won’t begin – a cloudy smile.
With this sorrow in my chest, toward the sky where light shines.
With a soul that knows no fear, open your eyes and find me.
 

Livin' on the chaos.
 

The rain wets my eyelids, showing the path ahead of pain as I walk the path of rebirth.
 


01.02.2025

Mayfly





I think you were sometimes an egoist.
The smell of cigarettes and those words still linger in the classroom.
 

I can't throw away this dark past.
I can't throw away this terrifying present.
 

Why did you disappear?
That psychopathic smile of yours...
Why must the life of a mayfly be short?
Why did you disappear?
That psychopathic smile of yours...
 

You're always there in my memories and in my heart, I won't forget.
Even if my heart hurts,
Even if I feel the lessons,
I’m happy for the things you left behind.
 

Why did you disappear?
Why did you disappear?
 

The smell of cigarettes and those words still linger in the classroom.
Sleep peacefully, I’ll leave it to you.
I’ll carry your thoughts with me.
 


01.02.2025

fu uh





Still, I haven't given up. Is it the same for you?
 

I think the world is small.
 

No matter how dark the place is, I can hear the music. In the attic with my eyes closed, I feel you.
 

Hoo~
 

Can you sleep tonight? I want to see you.
 

A necklace shining around your neck.
 

The things you gave me.
 

Suddenly, I think like this: I like the air outside, swaying. Even though there's a different, opposite side of me, I feel hope.
 

Hoo~
 

I'll stay in my heart.
 


01.02.2025

-045-





In front of the phone, I was searching for words
I just wanted to say one word, 'Congratulations'
The love that disappeared last year
Your birthday
 

Gently, 045
Just the area code
I dialed and placed the receiver
But no, tears started to overflow right away
 

A quiet dream, you told me about it
The café on the hill overlooking Marine Tower
The seasons slowly
Melt away like water
 

Gently, 045
I entwined my fingers and walked
The mirage-like hill
The foreign ships swaying in the blurred sea
 

Gently, 045
Someday, to you
I want to smile
And say thank you from the bottom of my heart