Leo Masliah - El multiprocesador de acción interna versuri traducere în engleză

The internal action food processor

I bought a new food processsor. I already had one, but this one is better, because it's of internal action. You have to place it in the stomach. Bah! if you're a doctor and you have some skill you can place it yourself. The good thing about this processor is that you can stop cooking. Instead of preparing the foods, you eat straight up the ingredents. For example, you eat a pack of flour, then a butter bar, you eat half big spoon of baking powder, half glass of milk, a pack of cocoa powder and it feels like you're eating a chocolate cake.
 
At first you don't realize, but when the food reaches the stomach you understand it with full clarity.
 
Of course, you have to put on teeth in the stomach entrance, to be able to chew what is getting inside. That's a bit expensive, but it makes up for what you save in gas and electricity when you stop cooking. As soon as I can, I will do it. The doctor says that swallowing without chewing is not good. He's right, and the opposite is neither recomandable. But, placing a throat in the stomach would cost me an eye of the face, is it's not good for be, becuase I'm gonna need that eye there, close to the stomach, to see what I'm swallowing. That's why, instead of placing inside of me a synthetic throat, I'm going to transfer my stomach to my own throat. This also requires that, they sew my head over the shoulder blades, and that is a lot of stitches. About the aesthetic part, I'm not so worried. Some will say, 'that dude doesn't have a neck', or some will say, 'look, there goes a man with one single eye'.
 
But too bad for them. The ones who see me with an X ray device will realize that it isn't true: I keep all my organs, only that they're arranged in a more functional way.
 
With time, I'm thinking of making more improvements in my organism.
 
For examle, it's a shame that the brain is placed in a very exposed place like the head. I'm thinking of placing it near the stomach, for it to be more protected and also, it will control more efficiently my digestive process because it will be so near. These processes need a good supervision, at least during the first months after being modificated.
 
Besides, it's good that all the organs and the most important functions should be placed in the same zone. Yes, I will do it. It's like a strategic withdrawal of myself inside myself.
 
Some will say that I'm going to reduce myself, because some parts like the head, will remain as an ornament, being able to later become stunted and then to detach and fall like dry leaves, but all that is indifferent to me.
 
I'm not thinking of reducing myself: I'm thinking of compressing myself. I know that in my most intimate heart of hearts I'm irreductible, and any place is good for me to settle down. And if things work better that way, I'll laugh out loud about what people will think, even when that people won't har my laugh, because they will sound more precisely on the oesophagus sector and outskirts. But I don't wish to extend myself more in the description of my modifications program. It's long and besides is too wide and... I just wanted, for now, to recommend the purchase of the internal action food processor.
 

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