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Prisoner

I am lifelong prisoner in my own mind
I try to run away from my demons
but nothing holds them back
Everyday feels like something is
missing in me
I got love from mother and
rest I inherited from my father
 
So it isn't a surprise
that the son got a demon in him
I try to fight everyday
but something is holding back
If I laugh, others cry
Hard to find self
I haven't felt for years and
I miss those feelings
 
The thoughts have felt like
sole ash inside a small black bubble
Losing the reins in this path
Cant keep it together with torment only
 
I hold on with fingertips, at the edge of a mountain
A ravine below awaits for me as I'm next
I feel Death following me like a shadow
And being not able to anything besides
enjoy its company
 
I want to die young, so I can suffer less
Demons don't hurry up when it's a easy gain from him
 
I'm free
But prisoned in my own head
No feelings, no worries neither anything really
When thoughts stop working as expected
You realize that there are not going to be new days (x2)
 
Everything's the same mist as I have kept spending these days
Everything was easier when I didn't know all
Spending nights thinking why I haven't endured anything
Denied everything around me because all has been gnawing at
 
Nothing feels like anything
Let's just keep going
and I've been fearing the fear so I can keep it straight
I run endless rounds because the demons are not tiring up
My speed starts to slowdown and I fear that it's going to be a burn
 
I still keep my grip strong,
trying to colour these shades
that are so dark that at some point
the light wouldn't be seen
But i have gotten used to living like this
So at the end, It doesn't matter
when the day comes and only the body
switches the place
 
'Cause I have left some time ago
but my body is still crawling here
still tenacious
Through my eyes you can see my mind
the remains of happiness have faded
This all is so miserable
but I can't cry
 
I'm free
But prisoned in my own head
No feelings, no worries neither anything really
When thoughts stop working as expected
You realize that there are not going to be new days (x2)
 
I am Free
 


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01.02.2025

REBORN





Tears dissolve under the rain, wandering on the path of rebirth beyond the pain.
 

Can you hear cry your heart?
Let me hear cry your soul!
No pain! no gain! Don't fear.
 

Unable to look ahead, stopped and blocked by fake days, a facade of 'once more dice.'
 

Can you hear cry your heart?
Let me hear cry your soul!
No pain! no gain! Don't fear.
 

The reality soaked in the rotten rain is still a false breakdown.
This pain will eventually turn into a white future.
With a soul that needs no adornment, dye my heart and find me.
Livin' on the chaos.
 

Can you hear cry your heart?
Let me hear cry your soul!
No pain! no gain! Don't fear.
 

If you're afraid of the past and not seeking ahead, it won’t begin – a cloudy smile.
With this sorrow in my chest, toward the sky where light shines.
With a soul that knows no fear, open your eyes and find me.
 

Livin' on the chaos.
 

The rain wets my eyelids, showing the path ahead of pain as I walk the path of rebirth.
 


01.02.2025

Mayfly





I think you were sometimes an egoist.
The smell of cigarettes and those words still linger in the classroom.
 

I can't throw away this dark past.
I can't throw away this terrifying present.
 

Why did you disappear?
That psychopathic smile of yours...
Why must the life of a mayfly be short?
Why did you disappear?
That psychopathic smile of yours...
 

You're always there in my memories and in my heart, I won't forget.
Even if my heart hurts,
Even if I feel the lessons,
I’m happy for the things you left behind.
 

Why did you disappear?
Why did you disappear?
 

The smell of cigarettes and those words still linger in the classroom.
Sleep peacefully, I’ll leave it to you.
I’ll carry your thoughts with me.
 


01.02.2025

fu uh





Still, I haven't given up. Is it the same for you?
 

I think the world is small.
 

No matter how dark the place is, I can hear the music. In the attic with my eyes closed, I feel you.
 

Hoo~
 

Can you sleep tonight? I want to see you.
 

A necklace shining around your neck.
 

The things you gave me.
 

Suddenly, I think like this: I like the air outside, swaying. Even though there's a different, opposite side of me, I feel hope.
 

Hoo~
 

I'll stay in my heart.
 


01.02.2025

-045-





In front of the phone, I was searching for words
I just wanted to say one word, 'Congratulations'
The love that disappeared last year
Your birthday
 

Gently, 045
Just the area code
I dialed and placed the receiver
But no, tears started to overflow right away
 

A quiet dream, you told me about it
The café on the hill overlooking Marine Tower
The seasons slowly
Melt away like water
 

Gently, 045
I entwined my fingers and walked
The mirage-like hill
The foreign ships swaying in the blurred sea
 

Gently, 045
Someday, to you
I want to smile
And say thank you from the bottom of my heart