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I don't want to die

Mom, I don't want to die
I want to see if even me, I can do something good
Before the end
There are still many things that I have to understand
I still got mistakes to do
And new places to discover
 
Mom, I don't want to die
I still got too much microphones ready that are waiting for me
I'll still have a billion rhymes
I've drunk too much beer
I've got too much things to do
And if I die I hope that the grass that I keep between the books will not be smoky
I've still things to say
I still have the nightmares and devils behind the death that call
But I still want to have fun
I still have too much important movies that I want to watch
I still have the biggest dreams
I still have too much girls that I want to fuck
I still want to be heard
Even if inside I'll always have something that depresses me and represses me
Which forces me to stay still, only to suffer
Like the rocks on the sea
Like the rain falls on the coffins
I'm still thirsty, I'm still hungry
Mom, I swear I'll make you a son
I'll right away buy him some Nike and a camouflage vest
I know he'll be the coolest of the kindergarten
Hold him, look at him and put the mirror on his face
Forget everything and imagine that, in the end, I won
 
Mom, I don't want to die
Look at me, I vomit bile
I still don't really know what I want
But I know that I still have to suffer, yeh, yeh
I have still too much style
I still have a brain that is full of ideas
And a heart that is full of thorns
I still have bullets in my riffle
I still don't believe in love
For me, it's just an illusion
Like summer on the april's mornings
We are dancing in a minefield, avoiding the mines
Mom, I don't want to die
 


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03.03.2025

Try Your Best, My Friend





I laid down, paying no mind to my skirt, and
Basked in the sunlight filtering through tree branches
You know, I'd almost forgotten
How high the blue sky was
 

I also want to convey to you
Seeming lonely as you looked down
 

Let's Wake Up
Try your best My Friend
Being shy won't do any good
Start sending yourself some encouragement
 

Say goodbye
To the sadness My Friend
If you don't start by liking yourself
Then nothing will begin
Always
 

A whimsical present from God
Everyday's depressing
But if you discover how
To live life in your own way
Then you'll receive energy
 

The times are always
Repeatedly alternating between
Yes and No
 

If you realize it, then
Try your best My Friend
I'm pretty sure that happiness is
Something you decide on your own
 

Proceed ahead
Without rushing things My Friend
If you can be honest with yourself
Then you'll be able to see love's courage
Always
 

When you get lost along the way
And you're feeling tired
Look up at the starry sky and take a deep breath
 

Let's Wake Up
Try your best My Friend
In times of difficulty
I'll always be by your side, okay?
 

Say goodbye
To the sadness My Friend
Just seeing your smile
Makes me feel happy
Always
 


03.03.2025

The Last Word





Ah, this is going awfully!
 

How many nights, days, hours and seconds is it going to be?
Am I even allowed to look at you, sit next to you in the meantime?
How many nights, days, hours and seconds until it's like it used to be?
 

How many months and weeks until we break the ice?
Feels like we're running a marathon, no one wins the race1
How many nights can we rewind until after?
 

You get to be right
I fold right away for you2
You might be right
You get the last word
The last word
You get the last word
 

It's not what and not when and not how you say it
But I'm sick of playing guessing games, just say something
So just (?) the problem or leave it
 

You get to be right
I fold right away for you
You might be right
You get the last word
The last word
You get the last word
 

The quiet game ends here
Tell me, tell me what it is
Mirror, mirror on the wall
Tell me it's us again
The quiet game ends here
Tell me, tell me what it is
Mirror, mirror on the wall
Tell me it's us again
 

You get to be right
I fold right away for you
You might be right
You get the last word
The last word
You get the last word
 

(Ah, ah)
You get the last word
(Ah, ah)
You get the last word
(Ah, ah)
You get the last word
(Ah, ah)
The last word
You get the last word
 
  • 1. lit: no one wins the mile
  • 2. lit: I lay down flat for you



03.03.2025

Orphaned in the wild emigration





Since young, since young,
ah, I was orphaned, ah, I was orphaned,
in the wild emigration,
and I wasn't get used to,
and now, what will it happen with me,
Oh God, in a foreign land?
 

Deathly, oh God,
deathly, oh God,
oh God, I got ill
oh God, I got ill,
I went deathly ill,
oh God, and now what should I do?
Oh God, the unbearable of the emigration
oh God, and I am not get used to.
 

Not a doctor, not a doctor,
can't be found, oh God, it can't be found,
to heal my soul,
oh God, to save my body.
 

Oh God, the unbearable of the emigration,
oh God, and I am not get used to.
 


03.03.2025

Safe bets





In our home, you only think of yourself
And it feels like the darkness has become our friend
So now we take it for granted, pretending that nothing has happened
Like every time one of us gets burnt
She always gets left alone in the flames to suffer
It's written between the lines, no help
 

You hit all my sensitive spots, only place safe bets
And I'll never forget what you've done
 

I remember you said that he's only a friend
Alright, why did you sleep with him again?
Maybe you take me for granted, maybe you don't notice
But way too many times when I get home
I'm forced to lurk in the shadows by myself
Because you place safe bets every night
 

But every time I feel like luck is on my side
Will you turn it back again?
And maybe I'm exaggerating but that's how it fucking feels
 

You hit all my sensitive spots, only place safe bets
And I'll never forget what you've done
 

I remember you said that he's only a friend
Alright, why did you sleep with him again?
Maybe you take me for granted, maybe you don't notice
But way too many times when I get home
I'm forced to lurk in the shadows by myself
Because you place safe bets every night
 

I remember you said that he's only a friend
Alright, why did you sleep with him again?
Maybe you take me for granted, maybe you don't notice
But way too many times when I get home
I'm forced to lurk in the shadows by myself
Because you place safe bets every night, oh