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Fixer

I can’t sleep until I’ve erased all of my memory up until today
It’s unbearable, how much I wish for a substitute to live my life for me from tomorrow on
Let me say that everything’ll be okay. And then, won’t you let me blame it all on you later?
Since everything’s meaningless now, won’t you let me blame it all on you later?
 
I can’t make any sense, can’t do anything about the promises I can’t fulfill, at the expense of letting my brain be taken over
By each and every single of the words that are flooding my mind
I can’t see. I want to flee. I want to jump. I want to quit. I can’t avoid it
 
That’s why
Just let me sink
Until I can’t crawl up anymore
Until you’re sick of it
Just drop me
Until you dangle salvation before me
 
I crush to bits the drops tasting of lies, altogether with the screams blocked out of my throat
Having a hard time keeping a smile, I’m just whiling away my time as I go along with this know-it-all pretense.
I didn’t want to turn out like this
 
Today, I’m holding on to my sleepy, sleepy ideal of becoming useful for once, while waiting to be saved
For the first one, say it with my mouth stretched to the ears
Biting my lips hard and painful with all the strength I find in me
 
Just die, just do it
Without a care for the future or past. If I hate it,
Just destroy everything
Might as well just turn into a perpetrator.
 
Just sing the next one already, before I have to spit out
This flavorless irritation that’s more than I can eat and sadness from which nothing ever comes
 
I might as well
Just dance the dance
Let it ring out, before I completely turn an ashen color
Just change, just change
Until I can fall asleep
 
I might as well
Just snatch it away, snatch it away,
Exposing all the lies I’ve tamed
I’ve been looking at a false image that flitted through my feverish mind
 
I’ve been looking at my own self
 


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02.02.2025

Shadow crawling





The lights go out, the doors close
And I'm crouched at the table, dazed,
a figure lost in my drunken stupor,
'a drink', I say, 'one more', tearful.
 

Shadow crawling in my late night,
in my drinking and cigarette smoke.
Your memories come to mind
like scattered notes on an untuned guitar.
Shadow crawling.
 

The hall emptied, the people are gone
and I am left in the back, forgotten.
In a monologue I speak to you,
in the glass and in a daze immersed.
 

Shadow crawling in my late night,
in my drinking and cigarette smoke.
Your memories come to mind
like scattered notes on an untuned guitar.
Shadow crawling.
 


02.02.2025

Goodnight





Farewell and goodnight to you all
Goodnight and bless you all
I wish you good health always
Goodnight, bless you all
 

There's not a musical instrument that plays
That makes my heart more joyful
Than the sound of young girls singing
Goodnight, bless you all
 

And the voice that fills my heart with songs
Is the happy sound of young people singing
A peaceful place from the days of my youth
Joy be with you always
 

There's not a musical instrument that plays
That makes my heart more joyful
Than the sound of young girls singing
Goodnight, bless you all
 


02.02.2025

An abyss





In our hands, lips, hair and our shoulders,
In our words, thoughts, eyes and our silence,
Today, we are similar and differ with you,
It's half step between us, so far like an abyss.
You little one, scared of darkness so much
I'm feeling all that, I see all of you
I'll be your warm blanket, your mantle
If you only ask me,
'Till you want to end it
 

In letters, in pictures, in writings, in dreams
Cannot be expressed what's happens between us
I know how the loneliness feels time to time
It's half step to you, so far like an abyss
I wish to shout out to you, I wish you could listen
I'm tiptoe, I'm groping, at half strength, I'm rushing
Tell me if we feel the same way with the others
In our hands, lips, hair and our shoulders?
 

For you, for you
I summons in vain at the midnight
Never, ever betray you or let somebody take you out
So now, so now I'll turn into a pillar of salt1,
But I, but I will trust you like in last one
 

Our common world is going to hell
Like a blast wave, snow avalanche descents
Let everything goes awry, wrong way, bass-ackwards
Just to your voice went right into my heart.
 
  • 1. 'become a pillar of salt' - sending to Bible, when Lot's wife is turned into a pillar of salt when she look back to her crushing city. In song man don't mind to become a rock of salt only for going back to their crushing relations



poetic
rhyming
singable
02.02.2025

Let It Come





Let it come like definitely
Let your soul pick up heavy, put down light like the wind on the porch
And let the wind blow gently
Don't hurry
With my melody
Upset that day, didn't see you over
Afraid you'll pay attention to the thing that separates us
You don't know, what to do
Also betraying
With a lover, that's all
 

And only when you see those two tears
Feel so empty
When you only live for yourself
Find your name in the forgotten
You when you first met me
Been buried, for long
No matter how much you try to hold
Fought back some words
Now all I say will be too quick in your eyes
Just need you to love me, that's it
That should be enough
Hoo, ooh-hoo-ooh-hoo
 

The rock on the cliff
Where has it rolled
Why are you still waiting for him?
Too far from you (have far from you)
Too far to tomorrow (To tomorrow)
To walk away without coming back
As if I was never alive
 

To let you see those two tears (those two tears)
See the void you left (see the void)
When you only ever live for yourself (When you left me in the void)
Leave your name in oblivion
You when you first knew me
Been hiding, for too long
No matter how much you try to cling
And just argue back
Even the time will make your eyes sadden
Just need you to love me, that's all
Guess I'm done talking
Hoo, ooh-hoo-ooh-hoo
 

Hah, ah-ah-ah
Hoo, hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo
Hoo, hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo
 

When you see those two tears (see those two tears)
See the emptiness (See the emptiness)
When you only live for yourself) (When you left me in the void)
So I'll leave your name in the back of my head
You when you first met me, hoo
Let it come like definitley
 


commented
rhyming
singable