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Breathing

I might be lost,
but I perfectly know where I am.
I am in the crowd again
alone once again.
 
I am talking to you,
but you are not here,
you left me alone,
because my stupidity is for two.
 
Ask me how am I,
watch my stories,
I know everyone keep talking about me,
 
everyone knows me,
who loves me.
I think about you, but taking off the clothes of another.
 
I drank all my tears,
I am switching to vodka now.
I said, I am yours, however I became everyone' street cat.
 
I often wake up
around six
And find myself at your address
 
I ring the bell,
then I begin to run.
It's time to go back to sleep *(dream).
 
Whatever I touch I break it.
I started with myself.
Now I look like a zebra
from all the scars.
 
(Maybe the problem is in me.
Maybe I am insane.
But I am just learning to breath again...
To breath without you.)
 
I put on all these carats,
I gave up my body to strangers.
I was with women that I dreamed
to say I f****d with.
 
But all this just made me lose myself
You are like a coffee (caffein) - you keep me awake
Where I keep being inlove with you.
 
I drink too much,
at night I am never there
if I was a female,
I wouldn't be a lady.
 
Guilt hangs over me like a crucifix
My curse now is to be alone in the crowd
 
(Maybe the problems is in me,
Maybe I am insane.
But I am just learning to breathe again...
to breathe without you.)
 
20 carat gold on a ring,
ever since I am named after a German,
I lead the world thinking I am cool,
just so they don't see I am actually a loser.
 
And when I take a breath I let myself believe that maybe I feel you,
maybe I taste you,
I allowed myself to lose you,
but I don't allow myself to let you go.
 
12 empty bottles on the table
I fall asleep at the terrace once again
I look at myself in the mirror and I think
When did you lose your class?
 
Hanging over a toilet I am praying to you,
but If I was you I wouldn't have answered either.
 
(Maybe the problems is in me,
Maybe I am insane.
But I am just learning to breathe again...
to breathe without you.)
 


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01.02.2025

REBORN





Tears dissolve under the rain, wandering on the path of rebirth beyond the pain.
 

Can you hear cry your heart?
Let me hear cry your soul!
No pain! no gain! Don't fear.
 

Unable to look ahead, stopped and blocked by fake days, a facade of 'once more dice.'
 

Can you hear cry your heart?
Let me hear cry your soul!
No pain! no gain! Don't fear.
 

The reality soaked in the rotten rain is still a false breakdown.
This pain will eventually turn into a white future.
With a soul that needs no adornment, dye my heart and find me.
Livin' on the chaos.
 

Can you hear cry your heart?
Let me hear cry your soul!
No pain! no gain! Don't fear.
 

If you're afraid of the past and not seeking ahead, it won’t begin – a cloudy smile.
With this sorrow in my chest, toward the sky where light shines.
With a soul that knows no fear, open your eyes and find me.
 

Livin' on the chaos.
 

The rain wets my eyelids, showing the path ahead of pain as I walk the path of rebirth.
 


01.02.2025

Mayfly





I think you were sometimes an egoist.
The smell of cigarettes and those words still linger in the classroom.
 

I can't throw away this dark past.
I can't throw away this terrifying present.
 

Why did you disappear?
That psychopathic smile of yours...
Why must the life of a mayfly be short?
Why did you disappear?
That psychopathic smile of yours...
 

You're always there in my memories and in my heart, I won't forget.
Even if my heart hurts,
Even if I feel the lessons,
I’m happy for the things you left behind.
 

Why did you disappear?
Why did you disappear?
 

The smell of cigarettes and those words still linger in the classroom.
Sleep peacefully, I’ll leave it to you.
I’ll carry your thoughts with me.
 


01.02.2025

fu uh





Still, I haven't given up. Is it the same for you?
 

I think the world is small.
 

No matter how dark the place is, I can hear the music. In the attic with my eyes closed, I feel you.
 

Hoo~
 

Can you sleep tonight? I want to see you.
 

A necklace shining around your neck.
 

The things you gave me.
 

Suddenly, I think like this: I like the air outside, swaying. Even though there's a different, opposite side of me, I feel hope.
 

Hoo~
 

I'll stay in my heart.
 


01.02.2025

-045-





In front of the phone, I was searching for words
I just wanted to say one word, 'Congratulations'
The love that disappeared last year
Your birthday
 

Gently, 045
Just the area code
I dialed and placed the receiver
But no, tears started to overflow right away
 

A quiet dream, you told me about it
The café on the hill overlooking Marine Tower
The seasons slowly
Melt away like water
 

Gently, 045
I entwined my fingers and walked
The mirage-like hill
The foreign ships swaying in the blurred sea
 

Gently, 045
Someday, to you
I want to smile
And say thank you from the bottom of my heart