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All That I Always Dreamt Of

I always thought it would happen
From childhood I believed in the adults
That one just needed to pay to see
Ugly, somewhat suspicious
Knock-kneed, now with a belly
Doubting whether I could grow
Even so, still
Time went by
And I kept postponing, mute
The great days I would know
Who knows tomorrow? Next year?
Cebolinha with his plans
Would teach me to be infallible
 
Strong, courageous, good at football
One of the good-looking guys at school
Even though I didn't insist
Just as well that I'm Brazilian
So stubborn, hopeful
Proud of being a five-time champion
But if I were American
I would grab a pistol
And I would lose my mind:
I would kill fifteen at the school
I would burst my head
And appear on the television
 
And eventually I grew, from insult to insult
I saw myself as an adult
Cultured, ready for what exactly? I don't even remember
I look and can't find
I think about whether I wasn't a fool
To believe in the tale
Of the vicar that I heard
There is no car waiting for me
There is no reserved table
Just an unfunny joke about a Portuguese man
There is no wine nor champagne nor wine glass
Just a little cachaça
And some meagre change at the end of each month
 
All I ever dreamt of
So much that I did
It's so good to be here
How much is still to come?
 
But nonsense, what great sorrow
I already know that life is hard
Now it's just a matter of getting accustomed to it
One just needs to have courage and tact
And street smarts
Learnt day by day, bar to bar
To those who complain if there's no cognac
If there is a crack in the TV
And my time only comes to win?
Why imitate Chico Buarque
Why desire to be a martyr
If giving yourself in is part of the moment
 
And eventually he gets a girlfriend
Pretty, educated
Serious, all that mummy always asks for
There is kissing and also f*cking
And a heavy conscience
For ever little desire that arises
For another woman, for liberty
For a real love
For being able to close one's eyes and smile
Thinking that therefore, from that point
Whatever your age
The best is yet to come
 
All I ever dreamt of
So much that I did
It's so good to be here
How much is still to come?
 
All I ever dreamt of
So much that I did
It's so good to be here
I know
 


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16.03.2025

Melancholy





Melancholy
Dark moments
When he left
a fairytale ended
A bright magic
full of wonder
was this minute of infatuation
 

But the heart is cold
when dreams have died
And the darkness tremble
Every word feels trite
We were together
Meant to be
Now I walk alone
with my melancholy
 

Melancholy
Dark moments
When he left
a fairytale ended
A bright magic
full of wonder
was this minute of infatuation
 

But the heart is cold
when dreams have died
And the darkness tremble
Every word feels trite
We were together
Meant to be
Now I walk alone
with my melancholy
 

Melancholy
Dark moments
When he left
a fairytale ended
 


16.03.2025

M-Control





From now on, you are my servant.
From now on, you are mine.
 

Imitate me.
Do as you're told.
Make yourself comfortable.
So that the cracks in your broken heart will be less noticeable.
 

From now on, you are my servant.
From now on, you are my servant.
From now on you will be my servant
From now on you are my servant
From now on, you are mine.
 

Imitate me.
Just let it all out.
At least let it out so I can forget.
I wish for you to be able to move on from your brokenness.
May we be able to look forward together forever.
 

I'll keep on fooling you. Keep on being fooled?
 


16.03.2025

The Chains





You're too unique,
you're too free
and I don't want you to escape
without ever returning.
 

I put chains on you
and you'll be a prisoner,
you'll never be able
to escape me.
 

I put chains on you,
I'll be your prison,
you won't leave,
no, no, no, no, yeah!
 

You have wings too strong,
you're with me, there I have you!
You're looking for too many beaches
but with you I won't take a risk.
 

I put chains on you
and you'll be a prisoner,
you'll never be able
to escape me.
 

I put chains on you,
I'll be your prison,
you won't leave,
no, no, no, no,
no, no, no, no,
no, no, no, no, no, yeah!
 

~~~~~
 

I put chains on you,
I'll be your prison,
you won't leave,
no, no, no, no,
you won't leave, no
no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,
no, no, no, no, no, no, yeah!
No, no, no...
 


16.03.2025

Delivery Mental Health





Y-ko...a delicatessen worker. She has a single-minded personality. She is a big fan of a certain S band.
Ami...company employee. Likes the same band as Ako.
 

Yuko: '...aren't you happy?'
Ami: 'How are you?'
Yuko: 'I'm happy.'
Ami: 'You're full of lies!'
Yuko: 'Are you looking down on me?'
Ami, 'Are you just opening up?'
Yuko. 'Are you happy?'
Ami: 'I don't know.'
 

Is it useless to try to understand differences in values?
 

Yuko: 'My happiness is all... money. Otoko receives the body...and I give up my heart.'
 

hi deli×3+delivery
Happiness and values
money×4+funny
Dependent.
so very×4+nice
Can happiness be bought?
funny×4+money
Depends on oneself
 

■Ami: 'That's your point, isn't it? I won't sell my body. Even if I could buy anything, I'm sure my body would get dirty.'
Yuko: 'You're just laying it all out there. How dare you sleep with my boyfriend and say 'good morning' to me with a smile on your face?'
 

hi deli×4+bady
Yuko: 'Do what you want with your body.'
money+funny×4
Y-ko 'Kokoro wa nai.'
so very×4+bad
Ami: 'Which is the cleanest?'
funny+money×4
Ami: 'It's justified.'
 

Yuko: '...aren't you happy?'
Ami: 'How about you?'
Yuko: 'I'm happy.'
Ami: 'You're full of lies!'
Yuko: 'Are you looking down on me?'
Ami, 'Are you just opening up?'
Yuko. 'Are you happy?'
Ami: 'I don't know.'
 

Stress outlet and dependency
As long as you have enough money, you can be happy.
The whispered words... angel or devil?
It's you who decides, even the true meaning of happiness
 

hi deli×3+delicate
The end of happiness
funny×∞
Procrastination
so very×4+cute
Did you buy happiness?
money×∞
Depends on my mood
 

I am happy.'