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Tentative Farewell Letter

Rap was rarely good to me, rap always punched me
I too often sat around in my room with pen and paper
I never free-styled, I never had the guts
I wanted to be an MC1 but time after time I was just a woman
 
It took years until I became self-aware
Until I had a fan base and fame, and then came the fear of losing
After all, who would like to give up the status one has been fighting for?
Especially when after having doubts you finally believe in yourself
 
The role I have even annoys me, it always has since the beginning
Well, of course I would like to be known exclusively for dopes MCing2
Dominance needs resistance and I am at the top of the game
The one who stands up straight, experiences a lot of headwind
 
I made a name for myself, Queerfeminist MC
This is my seventh release, I've always loved rap
Always pumped and celebrated, but hated even more
What would I have missed out on without these rapper rapists?
 
And it bothers them that I criticize how they distinguish themselves
Believe me I would also rather not wear myself out with a bad temper
But when I see shit, then I have to call it out
You don't even understand the criticism, I'm not the BPjM3
 
You want to fuck everything to pieces, check out the pictures that you drawing
Even with good will, it's hard not to fail because of you
And don't tell now, that society has made you into
What you are, you are powerful men after all, good night
 
Yes, I'm stupid enough, I'll fall for it, I'll get upset
You've dominated the last ten years of my résumé4
Sure, I should be smarter and punish you with ignorance
And I also don't want to make myself known for setting boundaries
 
Yes, I should rise above it and simply ignore you
Focus on myself and choose my ways more wisely
But a couple of voices saying the contrary are needed
In this eternal shit, in this wretched hype
You say this is just entertainment but to me it's violence
 
You know what I'm talking about, you know for sure
You have decided against debating
And I beat my head against walls, shit I babble too much
I feel powerless, to you I'm nothing but three holes
You are men, you are the greater creatures
Go ahead, release the track already, I'm wasting your time
Show a little disrespect, show what kind of men you are
 
My guys are ashamed of how you portray femininity
And for being so united in your masculinity
Your children will one day punish you for this with contempt
They have to bear your heritage as a burden
And the media slobber all over you
They know very well, that they will sell more with a scandal
Germany sees no reason for structural reformation
But Germany would do well in any case, to shut its mouth
 
And I factor in socialization
But does the outcome of this shit need to be so spiteful
Others have also eaten dirt and are no idiots
You know, learning from the mistakes of others is not forbidden
 
I see the context, I see the structures
But gays are not faggots and women are not whores
I see the bashing of the underclass, racism, and vulnerability
But sexism and homophobia cannot be the effects
 
Especially since so many of you are middle class and potatoes5
That pretend you have been hit hard by this life
You will not moralize and you will not deny yourself experience
But you refuse and I don't want a change of power
I just don't want to always feel like shit when you are selling shit
Bastard, bitch. Dumbass, son-of-a-bitch, does not upset anyone anymore
You are not a reflection of society, you are part of society
Then start believing in yourself and you call that self-hatred
 
It becomes clear that you win and I surrender
I've been active for ten years, now everything is too much for me
We have created structures, developed our own scene
But I poison myself, I'm the antidote
I don't have the strength of Sarah Jones, I must determine the end
The revolution will not take place between these legs
Looking back, it was an unfair match from the start
My first track was the beginning of my downfall
 
I don't give a damn, if you think that I'm just whining here
I invite you into my head, come on again, club
I'm paranoid and I'm counting on you to decide right away
I give brain6 and then you have enough of me
You think I'm overstressing that, that it's not relevant
To me, that's a matter for life
All that remains is my courage for weakness
When did a man doubt if he deserves to rap?
 
  • 1. Short for master of ceremonies or mic controller. Essentially a word for a rapper but the term is not limited to hip hop
  • 2. dopes MCing = awesome performance of an MC (or simply: great rapping)
  • 3. The Federal Review Board for Media Harmful to Minors (German: Bundesprüfstelle für jugendgefährdende Medien or BPjM) is an upper-level German federal agency subordinate to the Federal Ministry of Family Affairs, Senior Citizens, Women and Youth. It is responsible for examining and censoring media works allegedly harmful to young people.
  • 4. A résumé, or Curriculum Vitae, is a document used by a person to present their backgrounds and skills. Résumés can be used for a variety of reasons, but most often they are used to secure new employment.
  • 5. The German word Kartoffel literally means potatoe. However, it also used in a derogatory sense to refer to people living in Germany with an ethnic background in another country.
  • 6. This is a play on words with the idiom 'give head'. 'Ich geb Gehirn' is a literal translation of 'I give brain' and will not make sense to someone speaking German unless he/she can associate to the English idiom.


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03.02.2025

One hundred hours of happiness





One hundred hours of happiness...
Is that a little?
I mined it washing like golden sand
 

Collected it lovingly, tirelessly
Bit by bit, drop by drop
spark by spark, sparkle by sparkle
Created it from fog and smoke
Received it as a gift
from every star and birch tree...
 

Many days I spent chasing happiness
On chilled platforms,
in a rattling carriage
I caught it at the airport
At the hour of departure,
Hugged it, warmed it
in the unheated house.
 

I was casting spells over it, incantations...
It happened, sometimes
That from bitter grief
I extracted my happiness.
 

It is wrong to say that one must be born happy.
It is only necessary that the heart
was not ashamed to work for happiness
That the heart is not lazy, not arrogant,
That even for a bit of goodness
It says “Thank you”
 

One hundred hours of happiness,
pure, without deception.
One hundred hours of happiness!
Is that a little?
 


03.02.2025

Anger





Anger blows
Anger awakens
 

In a lost moment, words are enough
Ancient sins the sorrow shrugs off
 

We ignite anger the sky burns
The blows rush and break the sky
 

Stones crumble
Towers fall
The world shatters
 

In her eyes a light so pure
 

We ignite anger the sky burns
The blows rush and break the sky
Good heavens
 

In her eyes a love so pure
A reason to endure
 

Stones crumble
Towers fall
 

Anger roars and the storm roars
Anger at ancient sins
(Ancient sins the sorrow nests)
The sadness nestles the sadness shakes
 

Gods broken world falls
Good crumbling destiny comes true
Gods broken world falls
Good crumbling destiny comes true
 

We ignite anger the sky burns
 


03.02.2025

Play the music away





Lalala, music is everywhere
It's here, it revolves around us
Lalalala
Lalalala
Play the music away!
 

Day and night, to the beat of its heart
My life sings and busts with happiness
Lalalala
Lalalala
Play the music away!
 

Listen to the song of the street
It sounds like a revue's finale
It's good, it's nice, it's beautiful
It's the whole of music!
 

Sparrows, cars, the subway, mutts
The radio, bar and cafe jukeboxes
It's unique, fantastic
Play the music away!
 

But often, what I like
Is to see, when opening the shutters
The horizon, the clear sky
The country or the seaside
The city's far away, and I forget about it
Yet I hear the song of life
 

Lalala, music is everywhere
It's here, it revolves around us
Lalalala Lalalala
Play the music away!
 

In the morning, I wake up to the rooster's crow
And at night I fall asleep to the sound of rock
Lalalala
Lalalala
Play the music away!
 

The sound of a grade crossing bell
The strong wind in the sails of a boat
It's good, it's nice, it's beautiful
It's the whole of music!
 

Ducks, guitars, bikers, rug rats
The little tune that wanders randomly
It's unique, fantastic
Play the music away!
 

Lalala lalala lalala
Lalala lalala lalala
Lalalala
Lalalala
Play the music away!
 

Lalala lalala lalala
Lalala lalala lalala
Lalalala
Lalalala
Play the music away!
 

Listen to the song of the street
It sounds like a revue's finale
It's good, it's nice, it's beautiful
It's the whole of music!
 

This band, so beautiful that it sticks to our skin
It's life that gives it to us
It's unique, fantastic
It's unique, fantastic, exquisite
Play the music away!
 


03.02.2025

Going Demonstrating





Come on, let's go demonstrate a little,
And stand four abreast for peace!
 

Come on, let's go demonstrate a little,
And some journalist is sure to write it up for his paper!
 

One, two, three, four!
Come on, let's go demonstrate a little,
And, if you dare, shout, 'Down with injustice!'
 

Come on, let's go demonstrate a little,
And if it should rain, we'll stay home.